(POST UPDATE- Please read the bottom of the post for an update on my condition, a link to the Facebook support group and suggestions on how to cope with symptoms)

I’ve been wanting to write this down for a while, not only to help someone else who may be going through the same battle but also to put all of my thoughts on paper and help put this into perspective for myself that it is now (hopefully all) in my past. I was diagnosed with a rare thyroid condition called postpartum thyroiditis. I will start at the beginning because my story starts out the same as most women who are going through postpartum depression, yet it turned out to be so different.

My second baby boy, Leif, was born in June 2015 and everything was perfect and I do mean everything- not only was life great but the actual birth and beginning postpartum period was nothing short of total happiness. It was around the end of August that I started noticing some of my postpartum symptoms such as sweating were not going away but were instead becoming much, much worse. I also noticed that my resting heart rate was very high and I was having awful mood swings. I didn’t think too much of it because we had a lot going on- new baby, we were buying a new house, our businesses were doing really well and growing so I just assumed I was a bit stressed.

By mid to late September things became drastically worse, my resting heart rate was always above 120 (I use this affordable pulse oximeter to track my heart rate), I started feeling very anxious and panicked, I would go days without sleeping,  I was always sweating profusely, had trouble concentrating, memory loss, major weight loss (50 pounds in 3 months) and I had almost nonstop tremors. I came to the conclusion that I had postpartum depression and I immediately made an appointment with my midwife. It was at that visit to my midwife that I told her my symptoms and that it felt like I was losing my mind. I was laying on the exam table shaking uncontrollably and crying. I felt like I was going to die and I was so scared. They sent me to the emergency room and they said it was most likely postpartum depression/anxiety disorder. I followed up with my family doctor the next day to determine if I should begin taking medication, luckily my doctor decided to do blood work that day and a few days later I received the results. I had extreme hyperthyroidism. Cue the anxiety attack- it seemed like my life was already so out of control and hearing this just scared me even more.

I was so lucky that I was able to find an amazing endocrinologist who fit me into his schedule that same day. He took one look at my labs and said that each of my symptoms was a direct result of this hyperthyroidism and not postpartum depression/anxiety. Those two illnesses produce a lot of the same mental symptoms, so if you are suffering the way I was please get your blood checked! I was somewhat relieved to hear that I was not losing my mind but that I was actually sick and that is why I was feeling the way I was. We discussed that I most likely either had graves disease or postpartum thyroiditis, we wouldn’t know for sure until I had more blood work to check for the trends in my thyroid levels as well as check for the graves antibody. I’m forever grateful that my doctor spent so much time with me that day reassuring me and helping me find safe medication to take while breastfeeding. Stopping breastfeeding was just not an option for me, but luckily one of the medication options was a beta blocker called propranolol which is okay to take while nursing. It is not a treatment (there are none for postpartum thyroiditis), but a medication used to protect the heart while someone is in the hyperthyroid phase. So the next step was to just wait it out, I ended up testing negative for the graves antibody so we were sticking with postpartum thyroiditis as the diagnosis.

Postpartum thyroiditis involves two phases- hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism and can last up to 18 months. Women may experience both or just one of the phases. My hyperthyroid phase lasted from August- November and it was nothing short of a nightmare. Even with the beta blockers I still had most of my symptoms. Besides the physical symptoms it was the mental symptoms that were the hardest- I became really isolated from both my family and friends, although I feel like when I did go out I was able to hide it somewhat well, but as soon as we would come home I just completely crashed physically and mentally. Those few months were the absolute toughest months of my life. Looking back now I am so sad about all that I feel I lost in that time- precious time with my children and husband, the excitement of buying our dream home as I was too sick to even feel any emotion or sense of happiness. I had to close down my thriving business for a bit and perhaps the biggest of all is that I would not have anymore children, not because it causes fertility issues but that I knew I could never have this happen to me and my family again and the chances of it happening again are very high, around 50%, after having it once.

Once the hypothyroid phase hit it was initially a welcome relief from the physical and mental torture of being hyperthyroid. That soon changed when I became so exhausted that a whole new level of depression hit. I was so tired I could barely take my kids out for playdates, work on my business….live. I became so depressed when I would see my friends going certain places or even working out. I was jealous that their bodies weren’t holding them back from these normal activities. I honestly hit such a low I thought I might never recover. The hypothyroid phase can last up to one year so I tried my best to stay positive and start the countdown to recovery. It’s now late January and I had my first bit of good news in months, my levels are stabilizing and returning to normal! I will follow up with more blood work in a few weeks to confirm that this may finally be over and in the meantime i’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.

If you’ve read this story and can relate to all of it or just a small part of it in some way and it has helped you, then I am so glad I shared this. If you’re suffering from depression or anxiety please have your thyroid levels checked, although thyroiditis is very rare it is a major cause of mental illness. Perhaps it is so rare because it goes undiagnosed. Have you suffered from postpartum thyroiditis? If so leave a comment below with your story so we can all help each other. One of the biggest challenges of this disease is that it is so rare and there are not a lot of personal stories or even research available online.

So, that’s my story…. Often times when you hear about someone with a thyroid disease you don’t think much of it but having experienced it now I will never take my health for granted again. Your thyroid controls your entire body and that’s why there are such a wide range of symptoms from physical to mental. I feel like it has scarred me in some way and I still deal with the mental side of it because it was that difficult. I’ve also learned a lot about how to take better care of myself in a holistic way including eating a much healthier diet and adding acupuncture into my routine. Here’s to health and happiness for all of us!

It has now been 2.5 years since I was first diagnosed with postpartum thyroiditis and I can happily report that I am back to “normal”!  My blood work was back to normal at about 1 year postpartum but it took at least another year for me to feel back to myself mentally.  As I mentioned above, postpartum thyroiditis is not a chronic condition and although there is no treatment for it it will eventually go away on its own- you will feel better.  I promise!  I wanted to share some helpful things that got me through such a difficult time in hopes that they will help you. Here are some tips:

1. Conquer your biggest symptom first, for me that was anxiety. I’ve had panic attacks before so this was not a new feeling for me, but the level of the anxiety and tremors that come with hyperthyroidism was unbearable. I read a few books and just arming myself with knowledge about how to try to calm my body (and mind) was so helpful. Here are a few suggested books:
The Anti-Anxiety Food Soluation
The Anxiety Toolkit
Natural Treatment Solution for Hyperthyroidism

2. Epsom Salt baths work wonders for your body and ultimately your symptoms.  They help flush out toxins and baths are very relaxing.  I used this bag of epsom salt.

3. Diffuse lavender oil to help yourself stay calm. I actually kept a bottle right next to my bed and made it a routine to diffuse the oil before bed. I used a cheap diffuser similar to this one. If you’d rather not use a diffuser just get a bottle of lavender essential oil and sniff it before bed. I swear, it really helped me. Maybe it was a placebo effect, maybe it really worked- either way I felt better.

4. Eat Healthy! My diet wasn’t terrible before my diagnosis but it wasn’t great either. I really focused on getting the proper nutrition and I credit this with helping to heal my body.

5. If you’ve been cleared by your doctor do light exercise. Go for a walk, outside preferably if the weather is nice. I wasn’t cleared to exercise at all until about 8 months postpartum because of my high heart rate but just taking a slow walk outside once the weather was nice was very, very calming and helpful.

6. Acupuncture works wonders. It was the first time I had ever tried it and I absolutely loved it. When I left after the first session I was so incredibly relaxed I thought I would melt in a puddle, it was amazing. The effects didn’t last too long for me but doing it weekly seemed to help my overall health and wellness. Luckily my insurance covered it, if yours doesn’t try calling a few different places and seeing if they will work with you. My acupuncturist was honestly the most caring, calm person i’ve ever met and he seemed to really love his job and would work with anyone in any financial/insurance situation.

7. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. I have a hard time letting other people do things for me, I just always feel guilty but I learned to stop feeling that way. If a friend wanted to come bring me food, I let them- if my mom wanted to clean my entire house- I let her. You HAVE to go easy on yourself, it’s best for you and for your family.  I created a Facebook support group, please feel free to join and connect with other moms who have been diagnosed with Postpartum Thyroiditis.  It is a closed group which means that only members can see each others posts.

8. Try your best to relish in the amazing moments you are having with your newborn. I know it’s not fair at all to be going through such a yucky illness during what is supposed to be such a happy, beautiful time but please– take the time to just relax and enjoy time with your little one.

I hope these tips help, if I think of anymore I will update the article again. As i’ve mentioned a few times, this is a temporary illness and you will recover from it. I’m so far removed from how I felt during this time and I promise it will eventually be a distant memory for you too. I do get my blood work taken every 6 or so months which isn’t necessary anymore but it’s for my own peace of mind. Good luck in your recovery and please feel free to email me (hello@bstamped.com) or leave a comment with any questions.

I love supporting moms in all areas of postpartum recovery and encourage you to read the story of Angela who developed Sheehans Brain Damage as a result of her delivery. She suffered from several different health issues throughout her pregnancy as well. I love that other women are using their blogs to tell their stories of pregnancy and postpartum. Let’s all support each other!